I am amidst my fourth day of eight in Colombia, and it has been a whirlwind of meeting Pete's friends Holanda Maria and Doris, and their families, and his friend the finder of the future Sra. Gallagher, Charlie. Charlie runs a hotel, Charlie´s Place, which boasts ¨Coffeehouse & Bagels¨ but he doesn't really have bagels...also introductions of Colombian women to men from Europe and the US.
The first three days were like a 72-hour triadic multi-date, as Pete would court Holanda Maria while touring me around (I'd get consigned to the front seat of the small taxis here so that the two could have together time while we would make our way around), and I was graciously invited to share the holiday with both women´s families. Pete met Doris a long time ago, and they are now friends (she is helping him with a business venture down here), so eventually, I sat myself in the back seat with Pete. This somehow upset his cosmology of the women in his life, but by age and friendship longevity, I gave myself priority. It´s not bad sitting up front (there are seatbelts), but I came here to visit Pete, and not to be in chaperone position in multiple emotional triangles. Oh, yes, Pete has asked me not to mention one woman to the other, so on days when we visited with both, that was something of a trick. What happens in Bogota....stays in theactivelistener blog! :´)
By about noon yesterday, I got tired of not being able to spend any 1:1 time touring or talking with Pete, and with him not showing much interest in what I might like to do. That being the case, when Holanda-Maria went to powder her nose for about 15 minutes. I told Pete that I wanted him to spend Sunday with me, because I came to visit him, not him and his girlfriends. I had already expressed to him, to these women and to their families, how pleased and honored that they had me over to their homes, and had brought nice gifts for each woman. He sputtered that ¨I'm trying to decide if I want to marry this woman.¨ I followed by saying that I was going to be here only a few more days, that I might have liked to take a Sunday trip to a farm that one of their friends had invited us (casually but possibly). He said that he would be available to do things with me 1:1 during the week, but not until Monday. (But of course, right in the middle of the day, he has his phone session with his therapist in NJ, so...) And, before I got here, I told him that I wanted to see Cartegena (based on his strong recommendation) but he has shown no willingness to make even tentative plans or offer a day he might be available.
I don´t know why this disappointment was surprising, and I did whatever I could to decrease reactivity (take Sunday as me-time and a day of rest and reflection) and to differentiate--plan a solo exploration day--remaining connected and regrouping by evening.
For the last 10 years, Pete has been a friend, but a perpetual disappointment when I have needed anything substantial, emotional, operational, or como un amigo. He displays and throws large amounts of cash around during our menage a trois multidates, and that´s what he expects will smooth the way. It´s not nothing, of course, but it´s troubling that I infer that I am asking too much beyond the $$$$$. I´m contemplating a day trip up to Cartegena on Tuesday, con o sin Pedro.
Otherwise, yo tengo los tiempos muy felices. My Spanish is coming back some, but mostly it´s Spanglish all the way. After blogging and electronically connecting, I will saunter out to the shopping plaza next door, get a little lunch at the Crepes and Waffles, a national chain where all of the servers are single moms, and do some walking, shopping, and adventuring.
Blogging from Blogota.....
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